Here’s the reasons you have vaginismus and how you can overcome it
Have you been diagnosed with vaginismus and are wondering why is this happening to me?
Perhaps this is the very first time you have heard of this condition and are feeling a little confused.
Most likely you are also relieved that there is a name and a reason why sexual intercourse seems so scary and painful.
You start to understand why you unconsciously push your partner away or close your legs automatically when he wants intimacy.
I know you are feeling a little unsure about things at the moment. The vaginismus club isn’t a club you wanted to sign up for. You are searching for answers and wondering will I ever be able to have sex?
I’m Linda, a Vaginismus Therapist, and was also diagnosed with vaginismus in my twenties. I overcame it. Now I help women to resolve vaginismus so they can have sex without pain or fear.
You can overcome vaginismus with the right level of support.
First, it is important to understand the reasons why you have it.
Here are some symptoms of vaginismus:
Unable to insert tampons or have a gynecological examination
Physically unable to have penetrative sex
Sex is painful and raw if able to have sexual intercourse
Never been able to have sex and may still be a virgin (primary vaginismus)
Deep fear and anxiety about sex or inserting items in your vagina
Yearning for a baby but too afraid to have sex
Physically withdraw and pull back when your partner touches you
Unpleasant or previous sexual experiences causes anxiety
Vaginal muscles involuntary tighten or shut down to prevent penetration
Feelings of anxiety, fear, or deep shame
Low sex drive
Avoidance of sexual intercourse and intimacy
Unconsciously sabotage new relationships or avoid possible new relationships completely
Difficult or impossible to use dilators
You feel disconnected from your body and vagina
Do any of the above vaginismus symptoms resonate with you?
The reasons why you have vaginismus
In my 14 years of helping women overcome vaginismus, I have noticed a number of patterns around vaginismus.
Of course, every woman and her healing from vaginismus is different.
There is a deep fear that sexual intercourse will be painful
You feel anxious about inserting something into your vagina
You were raised in a conservative culture / religious home
You are disconnected from your body and vagina
You have a negative view of sex
You experienced childhood trauma
It feels like there is a barrier or wall in your vagina which blocks penetration
You are not able to have penetrative sex
You have a deep of having sexual intercourse
Raised in a conservative culture / religious home
You are a virgin and despite being in long term relationships
Medical conditions (be sure to be checked by your doctor and GP)
Here’s how you can overcome vaginismus even if you are afraid to have sex
Overcoming vaginismus is a process. What may work for one person may not work for another. This is why it’s important to work with a vaginismus therapist who has a wide range of processes, training, and experience.
The six stages of vaginismus
To overcome psychological vaginismus it’s important to work through the six stages of the condition. This is my template:
Mind: Address overthinking, thoughts, mindset, and beliefs
Emotions: Work the sexual anxiety and fear of sex by address healing anxiety and fear.
Pain: Pain during penetration and sex
Vagina: Vagina wall blocks penetrative sex
Closing down: The automatic response causing your vagina and body to withdraw and shut down
Connection: Relationship with your vagina
Overcoming vaginismus is a process and it’s important to work with your mind, body, heart, and vagina.
Would you like help to overcome vaginismus so you can have sex with ease and comfort?
At sexual solutions, I provide a free, safe, and confidential telephone consultation. To book your call you are invited to call me directly on 075 3421 3557 or click the button below. When the timing is right for you, I very much look forward to hearing from you.