It's frustrating when you're close to Climax, but it's a challenge to Orgasm

Are you searching for the exclusive orgasm? You have heard so much about it. Friends talk about it. Yet perhaps you have never experienced an orgasm.

Maybe you only orgasm occasionally through sexual activity or only through self-stimulation. Or does your orgasm never reach its peak?

Rest assured that you are not the only woman who can’t orgasm.

Never underestimate the impact of not being able to orgasm on your life. As an International Sex Hypnotherapist, I have worked lots of women who were unable to orgasm. This is called Anorgasmia. Some of them were successful in their careers and held leadership positions, but thought they were a failure in the bedroom.

The women I work with often say there is something wrong with them. They feel ashamed or embarrassed because they can’t experience what many women can. The unrealistic portrayal of sex and women’s orgasms in movies doesn’t help. They want to sex and achieve a climax for themselves and their partners. However, something is blocking their ability to

Does this sound familiar to you as well?

It's frustrating, especially when you love sex and are also attractive to your sexual partner.

So what is holding you back from sexual pleasure?

There are many possible reasons why you can’t orgasm. Even when you want to.

Women’s orgasm difficulties can be a combination of:

• Sexual beliefs

• Cultural beliefs

• Emotional blockages

• Relationship with your vagina

• Not able to let go

• Can’t trust your partner

• Past trauma

• Not every woman orgasms during sexual intercourse

In this article, I want to share 10 factors why you can’t orgasm and their solutions.

10 factors why you can’t orgasm

1. Not sexually aroused

There is not enough foreplay before sex.

The Solution: Explore and experiment in a fun and loving way with your partner. Have fun with foreplay. Read books to get ideas, like the Karma Suta, because it is an excellent starting point for new positions and adventure in the bedroom.

First have fun and do not focus too much on having an orgasm.

Enjoy!

2. Do not know your own body and what turns you on

So many women have been feed false information about their body and vagina. They carry shame around for just having a vagina! Shame for masturbating. Shame for using sex toys.

The Solution: Self-pleasure and masturbation are healthy expressions of who you are as a woman and sexual human being. Learn how to let go of any guilt, embarrassment and shame you may experience. Begin to explore your body with curiosity, openness and fun. Discover what turns you on. Where you like to be touched. There are plenty of new products aimed at women and self-pleasure.

Explore, have fun and enjoy!

3. Too much pressure to orgasm

Has your sexual partner asked “are you nearly there yet?” The dreaded question for women who can’t orgasm. Men unconsciously (and some consciously) put pressure on women to orgasm because it makes them feel confident and masculine. They align it with their self identity. They haven’t yet discovered that presence and connection is more important than their performance.

The Solution : When you, or your partner, put too much pressure to orgasm, it actually creates frustration, stress and tension in the body. Sex is like life. It’s not about the destination, because it’s about the journey. Relish in each sexual moment and pleasure without any expectations of what may or may not happen. Learn to be more embodied.

4. You find it difficult to let go and give up control

You are mid sex and suddenly you have a thought. I forgot to do (fill in) today. Or another thought disconnects you from the sexual experience. Regardless how much clitoral stimulation you enjoy but can’t let go. It feels like you have hit a wall. Let go also includes allowing yourself to be vulnerable with yourself and your partner.

The Solution: Experiencing an orgasm, whether it is by yourself or with your partner, requires the ability to fully let go. Speak to your sexual partner about your fear of losing control, and ask for his support.

When you are sexually anxious, your body tenses and you tend to hold onto your breath. This makes it difficult to let go. The more relaxed you are, the more likely you can let go. Learn to get more comfortable about being vulnerable with your partner.

5. It is difficult to communicate your sexual desire

It’s not easy to talk about your sexual desires with your partner. Women have been taught, from an early age, to put others first, especially during sex and relationships.

The Solution: Start to talk to your partner about your desires. If you feel anxious about sex let him know. The more open you are, the more confidence you will become. Find your courageous inner voice and discuss with your partner what you enjoy and what doesn’t work. Begin to explore together to find new ways to receive, experience pleasure and have more fun.

6. The fear of intimacy

Fear of intimacy, and emotional pain, like past abuse, anxiety, or sexual fears, play a huge role in how you experience your sexual self.

You love your partner, but you fear being vulnerable or intimate with him. Intimacy isn’t just about sex. You may be carrying shame, sexual fears, and scared to get too emotionally close to people. When you fear intimacy, sex can be intimidating.

The Solution: Speak to your partner about your fears. By talking about these issues, it helps bring the unconscious into the conscious. The key here is to be honest with how you feel and your fears. If intimacy is a major issue you may find talking therapy or hypnosis helpful. Sexual healing is fundamental in healing, recovering, and taking the first step forward to embracing your sexual empowerment.

7. Sex has become too routine or boring

If you were able to orgasm and now struggle to reach orgasm, it may be important to explore your current sexual relationship. Has it become like clockwork, and routine? Do you think sex with your partner is boring?

The Solution: If you are feeling flat in the bedroom because sex has come routine or boring, it’s time to talk to your partner. Be open to your partner about your feelings. Use I statements rather than you statements.

For example, Avoid saying “you make sex boring” Instead say “I am finding sex a little boring and would like to talk to you about how we can spice things up”

Invite him to share what he would like to experience too. Create the space to talk honestly. It’s important to have this discussion when you are not in the bedroom or being sexual.

8. Sex is not the only way

Lots of women do not orgasms during penetrative sex. Perhaps you can achieve orgasms during foreplay, sex toys or self pleasure. This is natural and normal.

The Solution: The old saying “it’s the journey, not the destination that matters” also rings true for orgasms. Sexual pleasure for women also comes from natural emotional highs, a deep sense of love and connection to your heart. A healthy sex life is connected to your attitude, relationship with body, and how open your mind, body and heart is.

9. You are held back by unconscious sexual inhibitions and beliefs

So much uninvited emotional baggage has been placed on women about sex. This emotional baggage can come from other women, religions, society, cultural, men, and from one generation to the next.

This baggage causes you to play small and passive in the bedroom.

Unconsciously, you may believe you shouldn’t enjoy sex, or perhaps you will just please your partner.

The Solution: Be open with your partner about your fears and inhibitions, because this makes the unconscious conscious.

Write a list of your current sexual beliefs. Perhaps I feel dirty during sex. My vagina is disgusting. Women shouldn’t experience pleasure sex. I am sure there are many others.

Then write a list of new beliefs of how you want to experience sex.

10. Medical conditions

The Solution: Some medical conditions or meditation can cause sexual issues and the inability to orgasm. It’s important to speak with your doctor. Therapy and hypnotherapy can still help but talk to your doctor first.

What’s next for you?

Dear Wild woman, deep within your inner caves there is a unlived part of you yearning for more. Yearning to sexually express herself. Yearning to tear up societies rule book and write a new one more aligned with women’s sacred power.

Learning to have an orgasm isn’t just about the physical act. It’s also the sacred journey into who you are as a woman.

Overcoming orgasmic dysfunction

If you want to dive deeper than traditional hypnosis, I invite you to contact me to schedule a safe and confidential 30 minute call with me, Linda Connors click the button below.

Many blessings to you today.